Well, I can say that my life has hit a new low. I have now been out of official employment for one year and one month. My car was repossessed last week due to the fact that I can no longer make the payments and my husband refused to take it on. My marriage is in the toilet and seems to be getting worse every day. On top of all of that, my 41st birthday is next month and I am terribly unhappy about it. I feel a big life change coming. It may be time to move on from my current situation and start over completely from scratch. Kind of like a new birth, if you will. I need to cast off all negative factors in my life, and that includes my husband. Since he and I have not spoken...even uncivilly in nearly a month, I am sure that he is aware that this marriage is nearly over. There is nothing left to repair. Fear of the unknown has been the only thing that has kept me in this situation this long. Security is a hard thing to let go of, but I prefer to keep my sanity. Enough of my youth has been wasted trying and trying to fix something that can't be fixed. Although, I realize that I will most probably never make a living from writing, it is the only thing that keeps me sane. Getting lost in the writing of a novel is as good or better than any feel good drug and I intend to keep writing. I think it is time to do some things I have been putting off, like travelling. I want to see more of the world and I intend to do just that. I have always known that I was not intended for a mundane existence. I have no idea why I let myself waste away for seven years. tied down to someone who has no appreciation for anything about me. Who doesn't get me, or my jokes. Who isn't even on the same wave length. I truly lost myself for a long time and I am finally finding my way back to me. I was lost among the muck and mire of a crappy marriage. I was styphilled and repressed and I refuse to be any longer. So, everyone, wish me luck on my new journey out of my lowest low.