Attack of the Lizards

Finally, it rained enough today in Las Vegas, that it cooled down substantially.  I thought I would take advantage of the cool weather and go outside and sit on one of my lounge chairs in the back yard.  I was about to sit, when I looked down and there were two lizards already enjoying my chair.  I started screaming bloody murder when one of them proceeded to jump from the chair to the ground in front of my right foot. The other one had stayed put.  My husband, thinking that I was being accosted by someone, comes flying out the back door to find me standing on one foot like a flamingo statue with a look of horror on my face. 

"What the heck is wrong with you?" he yelled out. 

"It's a lizard!" I screeched, pointing at the lounge chair.
"A lizard?"  he asked.
The lizard on the ground darted past my foot and I again screamed.
"Stop yelling the neighbors are going to think I am over here killing you," Yehia said.

My son, Omar, who had been inside playing joins us outside to see what the commotion is all about.  He looks down and sees the lizard on the chair.

"Cool, let me get it mommy," he said.  Omar creeps up on the lizard that is still perched on my chair and proceeds to try to scoop it up.  The lizard takes off running and jumps off the chair to the ground.  My son does not give up easily and chases it up and over and under again until he finally has the lizard by its tail.  He is looking very proud of himself, when the lizard again tries to jump out of my son's hand, thereby losing its tail.  It lands on my sons shirt front, where it then proceeds to run up and down and around him and up his back.  It at was at this point that my son starts to scream and twists around in circles.

"Awww.  Get it off," Omar yelled out.

"Get that thing off him Tina," my husband shouted standing at a distance.

"You get it Yehia.  You are the man," I replied.

"I'm not touching that nasty thing," he said making a face.

All the while my son is running around in circles trying to get the lizard off of him.  Finally, the hero of the hour steps up to help.  My four-year old, Farrah reaches out and knocks the lizard to the ground, and in his haste to get away, Omar accidentally steps on it.

You would think that would be the end of the poor lizards life....but it wasn't.  Farrah picks it up and flips it over.  The lizard is still moving.  She exams him thoroughly.

"Look mommy, I see it's penis!" Farrah announced proudly.  I nearly choked on my own tongue when she said that, but of course I had to have a look.

"That's not its penis, Farrah," I replied.  "It's part of his guts."

Upon hearing that news, Farrah wrinkles up her nose and unceremoniously chucks the lizard across the yard, tailless and squashed.